everyday epiphanies treated to overanalysis. plus techno-social-cultural babble from a 3rd world point of view.
Monday, February 20, 2006
listening to : psychotic micro - schizophrenic
We did not stop. We kept looking. There had to be more this world could offer. Sex could not be the end of it. The earlier the fascination for it started, the earlier we got over it. That might have been a phase - and a searingly scorched one- when every word uttered was recontextualized. Every word was a double entendre.
Right now, underage girls are playing outside with the word. They don't know the meaning and couldn't care less if I told them what it meant. All they want is another ass to pin the tail on. Another means of spewing off all the extra steam.
For us, the search has finally ended. Although sex was only talked about. We did everything else. Every taboo and transgression allowed in this society and we ran out of energy. In fact, the drugs kept it going for too long. Living life at this fast a pace has only shaved off later years.
nice price for the rice, said the cambodian laborer. at least, its a slow death.
Saturday, February 19, 2005
bring it back
i am going to bring it back. the keyword being 'Numb'. because nothing affects me anymore.
Saturday, March 27, 2004
exams around the corner of the street
can't do shit right now. will return in late may or early june.
Saturday, February 28, 2004
Nakshatra and how to appease them
Listening to: Hot Hot Heat - Bandages
How many times you have thought that a white trash trailer kid is better than you? I bet none. But when you are forced to endure lengthy complicated rituals in 'Sanskrit' which only 10% of Indian population understands (the priest still have to keep themselves in power by using such arcane ancient language) taking up your TV time, its time to get cranky.
A bit of a background here. Sometime back my grandmom was convinced by a priest that all my misfortune in areas of health (update: have a searing pain above right eyebrow. I can feel my brain throb and it is not pretty) was due to some alignment issues between the planets. So I was given a scary charm to wear.
As you can see it is not a particularly fine example of workmanship consisting only of some heavy duty thread and a locked capsule, the contents of which are open for guessing season. It smells good.
Predictably, I had some very teenage issues with it. I respect my grandmom and her senile behavior at 73. All I wanted was not to be involved in it. She could perform 'ashwmega yagya' for all I care if it did not disturb me. The other thing was that I did not want to wear anything on my body. I don't have any rings or necklaces or variants thereof on my skin. The last one was a silver chain passed from my Grandfather, RIP, to my big cousin and now to me.
Probably I should explain my idiosyncrasy at this point. It stems partly from teenage opposition to anything under the sun (its great fun to get my younger brother to accept that he won't eat for another 3 days or so just because we do. his is a story for another day) and mostly from my carelessness. I have lost innumerable digital watches (as Douglas Adams rightly observed, we considered it cool 5 years ago) and that bastard Family heirloom, the chain. If it's not hooked to my skin, it doesn't have a chance to survive. I remember some cafe days when I had to give up my sad excuses for burgers and 'Paw Bhaji' for all the lost watches and amulets, me being the guy who always collects footballs and guards the clothes while the physically gifted put their tight calves to good use. (That turned out a little homoerotic)
We got a sort of canteen open on 2 days every week for burgers and carbonated beverages in our boarding school which was totally residential and situated on a fort. You must now realize the importance such a momentous day has in any overworked boy's day. Now consider that the woman who oversaw this chaotic day was hot in a MILF way in a totally boys school.
Right. So we were talking about my grandmom. Well, she did go through with the plan anyway and got me the charm which I promptly kept away in my dysfunctional printer's tray with some classic movies. She did not stop at that. when it hit her that no sort of 'pooja' has ever been performed in the unholy confines of this pseudo-prison, she promptly got the priest and a guy in cahoots with him on a train from my village to come here and perform a 3 day super duper mega powerful yagya to set everything right.
This finally brings us into the present. Today all the arrangements were made. Although I planned to tell them about you bit its basically chanting a set of hymns invocating the necessary gods which we want to deal with. I like this about our mythology. We were neck deep in consumer culture before the west even learned to say, 'Dah, Dah!!' Choose which of the 36 million gods is relevant (points to ponder: does the west have enough products to compete with our gods in quantity) and start chanting. Mmmm...
Anyway, the setting would be better explained by pictures. So no big payoffs in the end. Now scamper.
Friday, February 27, 2004
Mall-Core and Postman
Listening to: Dizee Rascal - Fix up, Look Sharp
Sunday, February 22, 2004
a clearing house for quotes
Which I picked up here and there. For deciding where to use them later on.
"Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables-slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war . . . our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off."
"I had always heard that your entire life flashes before your eyes the second before you die. Only that one second isn't a second at all, it seems to stretch out forever like an ocean of time. For me it was lying on my back at boy scout camp, watching falling stars. And the maple trees that line our street. Or my grandmother's hands, and how her skin seemed like paper. And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird. And Janey. And my last thought was of Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me, but it's hard to be angry when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes, I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and I can't take it. My heart swells up like a balloon that's about to burst. But then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold onto it. And then, it flows through me like rain and I feel nothing but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry. You will someday."
"If it’s too loud, you’re too old." --Ted Nugent
"A lot of pop music is about stealing pocket money from children." --Ian Anderson
Thursday, February 19, 2004
compulsory incidents, and the Matrix's true destiny
Listening to: Deftones - Anniversary of an uninteresting event
So its 1 year since a boring everyday incident in my life. Ok, I concede I am some days late but its potentiality to be everyday does not diminish. 1 year is not exactly enough time to give me a retrospective on it. One day, the meaning of it all will be revealed.
Leaping to a totally different thought process, its time to clear my head of what I think about 'The Matrix' and the subsequent disaster.
First of all, LOTR is way better than Matrix. Although I still believe that the emotional factor, the connection between the characters and the audience was lost in the big scale of Midworld.
Secondly, The Matrix trilogy did not suck so much. We all agree that the first is a landmark which led to a whole new generation of fans intent on finding the references and the philosophy it referred to. The books and the discussion were not all in vain.
Now here's my problem. As with all good things, leaving the first flick as a masterpiece wouldn't have been good for the studios. In fact, treating it as an art was lost and the corporate responsibility crept into them. so it became a brand and thus expanded into a trilogy accompanied with a game (which sucked major league except for filling in on Niaobi's and Keymaker's back stories) and a DVD of animations (which might be the best thing to come out of this whole fiasco. all the greatest anime artists under banner giving various POVs to the same future, sheer orgasmic joy)
I was neck deep in conversations and discussion on the net from July to November 2003 wondering where the plot will lead. You can refer to matrixessays.blogspot.com. I think Wachawoski brothers did the best thing they could in the current situation. We all had high hopes and great explanations planned but they took an old plot device, one where 2 enemies have to band together to fight a third rogue element. last time I saw such a plot was in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles when they had to team up with Shredder against monster pizzas (don't even ask. I still have pr0n vidz of them). This I believe is because the brothers are going to take time and come up with something more brilliant. It may not be in this storyline but I hope will be set in the same matrix universe where probably Neo v12.6 or someone will finally battle it out against machines.
All this may be wishful thinking. Personally, I don't think it sucked that much. I still think 'Reloaded' was the best of them all like 'Return of the Jedi' featuring awesome dialogues and furthering the main mental conflict in Neo from faith to choice. Even 'Revolutions' has a great battle sequence and such epic stuff is justified only on the big screen. So now you will have to wait for the DVD.
Everybody (including me) got lost somewhere in expecting this to be the cultural artifact of my generation as the 'star wars' is to the 70s folks. Keep looking.
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
gamelog III : the thing
Listening to: Converge - Jane Doe
This is time when I should have told you about the new line-up on TV. Instead what I get is a lot of upcoming festivals. One of them (the Grammies, duh) is going to happen tonight and it will be airing it live at 6:30 am. Not that fanatical about it but I can sense the pressure of dressing up the singers must be facing to create new landmark in fashion and secondarily, the validation of their musical genius. And then later on in the month, we have to deal with the Oscars too. additionally, the Wednesday primetime slots on star world are open with Ally McBeal being pulled out thus treating us with spectaculars like 'the fake shit they do on TV wrestling' (informative) and 'New York in movies' (spectacular. they featured Woody Allen, Martin Scorsese and Spike Lee).
I also finished another game. This one is a 3rd person action adventure which brings FPS and more importantly, 'survival horror' elements into the mix. On top of all this, it has the added baggage of being a movie franchise and you can see the bars being very high for this one. On most counts, 'the thing' has succeeded. Yes. You read that right. Instead of an upcoming movie, they took a cult 1980s horror hit by the great John Carpenter (remind me to watch 'the screaming room' on HBO, a half hour series focusing on the horror genre).
For us movie fans, the game gives us the original board signifying 'outpost 31' at the start of the game and Kurt Russell's last recorded message. For n00bs to the movie, it is basically about an alien virus loose on an arctic substation. this seems pretty much the standard setting for a thousand b-grade flicks including the great 'evil dead' (bow down to Bruce Campbell who provides the over voice in 'Spiderman movie - the game'. he also got a lifetime achievement award at http://www.mutantreviewers.com/). This movie perfected the isolation hysteria subgenre. The horror doesn't come out of strange animals and creatures, although the animatronics were terrifying creating the spider-with-a-man's-head and the dog-man hybrid. The horror came out of trust or the lack thereof. Put a bunch of people (strangely, no women. not even for PCness) in a place where you can't escape and where anyone of them could be the alien masquerading as a human. Paranoia formed the backbone of the movie where dogs were not the best friend of a man. Guns were (I am no big dog lover but after seeing what the dogs mutated into, they are fast graduating to the clown phobia alert level).
If it is still not hammered in your head, the success of the game lies in porting the delusional and paranoid atmosphere from the movie. Oh and it does. Continuing in the vein of 'freedom fighters', you get to lead NPCs wherever possible. Apart from health, you have to give those guns, heal them and keep them clear of particularly gored corners otherwise they may go berserk. On top of that, they may randomly turn into the alien. On all other counts, it fares well. The guns are generic but good with a FPS option for combat. Team orders and AI are adequate. The enemy AI is a bit on the lower side where they go tripping on their own mines. some of the games I have been traditionally afraid of are claustrophobic ones (I had completed tomb raider II: the director's cut which had 4 levels underwater after the rig level. still gives me the creeps). This game was a big step for me (therapy?) considering the initial levels all where in cramped quarters and one totally in a caved laboratory. Add to that the camera which focused on the enemies and then when it was all clear, slowly crept back into position. Now if you remember the Valkyrie influenced hallucinations in Max Payne, you would get an idea of the disorientation I had to face.
Update: lost this post in other things. A week too late. I have started replaying freedom fighters and a much raped version of Soldier of Fortune II. The hacking team may get all categorical about it but there is no denying it. Instead of ripping the game, they raped it. They took out the dialogues, the music, the full motion videos (if there were any) and - horror of horrors - even the gore ability. The only reason to play this game is the advanced dying physics and the fun of killing anywhere specifically.
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