slipgun's den

temporary ravings

2006-02-20T07:33:00.000-08:00

listening to : psychotic micro - schizophrenic

We did not stop. We kept looking. There had to be more this world could offer. Sex could not be the end of it. The earlier the fascination for it started, the earlier we got over it. That might have been a phase - and a searingly scorched one- when every word uttered was recontextualized. Every word was a double entendre.

Right now, underage girls are playing outside with the word. They don't know the meaning and couldn't care less if I told them what it meant. All they want is another ass to pin the tail on. Another means of spewing off all the extra steam.

For us, the search has finally ended. Although sex was only talked about. We did everything else. Every taboo and transgression allowed in this society and we ran out of energy. In fact, the drugs kept it going for too long. Living life at this fast a pace has only shaved off later years.

nice price for the rice, said the cambodian laborer. at least, its a slow death.

bring it back

2005-02-19T10:56:00.000-08:00

i am going to bring it back. the keyword being 'Numb'. because nothing affects me anymore.

exams around the corner of the street

2004-03-27T12:53:00.000-08:00

can't do shit right now. will return in late may or early june.

Nakshatra and how to appease them

2004-02-28T12:35:00.000-08:00

Listening to: Hot Hot Heat - Bandages

How many times you have thought that a white trash trailer kid is better than you? I bet none. But when you are forced to endure lengthy complicated rituals in 'Sanskrit' which only 10% of Indian population understands (the priest still have to keep themselves in power by using such arcane ancient language) taking up your TV time, its time to get cranky.

A bit of a background here. Sometime back my grandmom was convinced by a priest that all my misfortune in areas of health (update: have a searing pain above right eyebrow. I can feel my brain throb and it is not pretty) was due to some alignment issues between the planets. So I was given a scary charm to wear.

As you can see it is not a particularly fine example of workmanship consisting only of some heavy duty thread and a locked capsule, the contents of which are open for guessing season. It smells good.

Predictably, I had some very teenage issues with it. I respect my grandmom and her senile behavior at 73. All I wanted was not to be involved in it. She could perform 'ashwmega yagya' for all I care if it did not disturb me. The other thing was that I did not want to wear anything on my body. I don't have any rings or necklaces or variants thereof on my skin. The last one was a silver chain passed from my Grandfather, RIP, to my big cousin and now to me.

Probably I should explain my idiosyncrasy at this point. It stems partly from teenage opposition to anything under the sun (its great fun to get my younger brother to accept that he won't eat for another 3 days or so just because we do. his is a story for another day) and mostly from my carelessness. I have lost innumerable digital watches (as Douglas Adams rightly observed, we considered it cool 5 years ago) and that bastard Family heirloom, the chain. If it's not hooked to my skin, it doesn't have a chance to survive. I remember some cafe days when I had to give up my sad excuses for burgers and 'Paw Bhaji' for all the lost watches and amulets, me being the guy who always collects footballs and guards the clothes while the physically gifted put their tight calves to good use. (That turned out a little homoerotic)

We got a sort of canteen open on 2 days every week for burgers and carbonated beverages in our boarding school which was totally residential and situated on a fort. You must now realize the importance such a momentous day has in any overworked boy's day. Now consider that the woman who oversaw this chaotic day was hot in a MILF way in a totally boys school.

Right. So we were talking about my grandmom. Well, she did go through with the plan anyway and got me the charm which I promptly kept away in my dysfunctional printer's tray with some classic movies. She did not stop at that. when it hit her that no sort of 'pooja' has ever been performed in the unholy confines of this pseudo-prison, she promptly got the priest and a guy in cahoots with him on a train from my village to come here and perform a 3 day super duper mega powerful yagya to set everything right.

This finally brings us into the present. Today all the arrangements were made. Although I planned to tell them about you bit its basically chanting a set of hymns invocating the necessary gods which we want to deal with. I like this about our mythology. We were neck deep in consumer culture before the west even learned to say, 'Dah, Dah!!' Choose which of the 36 million gods is relevant (points to ponder: does the west have enough products to compete with our gods in quantity) and start chanting. Mmmm...

Anyway, the setting would be better explained by pictures. So no big payoffs in the end. Now scamper.

Mall-Core and Postman

2004-02-27T11:29:00.000-08:00

Listening to: Dizee Rascal - Fix up, Look Sharp

Wigger-core: Amazingly accurate name for nu-metal or whatever you call it.
the Euthyphro Dilemma
Does God will acts because they are morally good, or is something morally good simply by virtue of God willing it? If the first is true, then there's morality outside the will of God and claiming that something is moral or immoral because God says so doesn't answer the question. If the second case is true, then there's no need to bother with morality at all, there's only God's will and the very idea of morality is meaningless.
Another paradox invoked in the homosexuality debate curently raging.
I was introduced to Neil Postman some time ago. Last year when he died, Salon did an obituary and I did a superficial scan on the net for his works. I went with a vengeance for his stuff this month. Turns out this guy was no hack.

I will go as far to say that he is probably the most relevant thinker right now. A neo-Luddite, Postman has written some amazing shit over the years. His attitude for new technology was mostly disdainful until it solved a problem. Most of his works were related to education and its definition through the years. His observations on TV and how it changed the culture is so insightful, I was in spasms of revelation. Ok, not that far. I swear, if this guy was alive today, I would have left everything and went to NYU.
Unfortunately, when it came to Computers, he seems to be a bit off the mark. Unlike TV where everyone underestimated the impact it has on culture and Mr. Postman corrected them, the exact opposite course was taken while propounding on Computers and their effects. He took them as mostly data processing monoliths which wouldn't solve the problems of humanity and beyond. He believed that it would lead to social isolation. Instead, the net has lead to more social interaction and it would be lovely to hear his views now.

Ironical (everything seems ripe with irony these days) that I came to know about a guy on the net who never touched a computer in his life. Click here to google him.
What Orwell feared were those who would ban books. What Huxley feared was that there would be no reason to ban a book, for there would be no one who wanted to read one. Orwell feared those who would deprive us of information. Huxley feared those who would give us so much that we would be reduced to passivity and egoism. Orwell feared that the truth would be concealed from us. Huxley feared the truth would be drowned in a sea of irrelevance. Orwell feared we would become a captive culture. Huxley feared we would become a trivial culture, preoccupied with some equivalent of the feelies, the orgy porgy, and the centrifugal bumblepuppy. As Huxley remarked in Brave New World Revisited, the civil libertarians and rationalists who are ever on the alert to oppose tyranny "failed to take into account man's almost infinite appetite for distractions". In 1984, Huxley added, people are controlled by inflicting pain. In Brave New World, they are controlled by inflicting pleasure. In short, Orwell feared that what we hate will ruin us. Huxley feared that what we love will ruin us.

a clearing house for quotes

2004-02-22T12:57:00.000-08:00

Which I picked up here and there. For deciding where to use them later on.

Fight Club:
"Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables-slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war . . . our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off."

American Beauty:
"I had always heard that your entire life flashes before your eyes the second before you die. Only that one second isn't a second at all, it seems to stretch out forever like an ocean of time. For me it was lying on my back at boy scout camp, watching falling stars. And the maple trees that line our street. Or my grandmother's hands, and how her skin seemed like paper. And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird. And Janey. And my last thought was of Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me, but it's hard to be angry when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes, I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and I can't take it. My heart swells up like a balloon that's about to burst. But then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold onto it. And then, it flows through me like rain and I feel nothing but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry. You will someday."

"If it’s too loud, you’re too old." --Ted Nugent

"A lot of pop music is about stealing pocket money from children." --Ian Anderson

compulsory incidents, and the Matrix's true destiny

2004-02-19T09:44:00.000-08:00

Listening to: Deftones - Anniversary of an uninteresting event

So its 1 year since a boring everyday incident in my life. Ok, I concede I am some days late but its potentiality to be everyday does not diminish. 1 year is not exactly enough time to give me a retrospective on it. One day, the meaning of it all will be revealed.

Leaping to a totally different thought process, its time to clear my head of what I think about 'The Matrix' and the subsequent disaster.

First of all, LOTR is way better than Matrix. Although I still believe that the emotional factor, the connection between the characters and the audience was lost in the big scale of Midworld.

Secondly, The Matrix trilogy did not suck so much. We all agree that the first is a landmark which led to a whole new generation of fans intent on finding the references and the philosophy it referred to. The books and the discussion were not all in vain.

Now here's my problem. As with all good things, leaving the first flick as a masterpiece wouldn't have been good for the studios. In fact, treating it as an art was lost and the corporate responsibility crept into them. so it became a brand and thus expanded into a trilogy accompanied with a game (which sucked major league except for filling in on Niaobi's and Keymaker's back stories) and a DVD of animations (which might be the best thing to come out of this whole fiasco. all the greatest anime artists under banner giving various POVs to the same future, sheer orgasmic joy)

I was neck deep in conversations and discussion on the net from July to November 2003 wondering where the plot will lead. You can refer to matrixessays.blogspot.com. I think Wachawoski brothers did the best thing they could in the current situation. We all had high hopes and great explanations planned but they took an old plot device, one where 2 enemies have to band together to fight a third rogue element. last time I saw such a plot was in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles when they had to team up with Shredder against monster pizzas (don't even ask. I still have pr0n vidz of them). This I believe is because the brothers are going to take time and come up with something more brilliant. It may not be in this storyline but I hope will be set in the same matrix universe where probably Neo v12.6 or someone will finally battle it out against machines.

All this may be wishful thinking. Personally, I don't think it sucked that much. I still think 'Reloaded' was the best of them all like 'Return of the Jedi' featuring awesome dialogues and furthering the main mental conflict in Neo from faith to choice. Even 'Revolutions' has a great battle sequence and such epic stuff is justified only on the big screen. So now you will have to wait for the DVD.

Everybody (including me) got lost somewhere in expecting this to be the cultural artifact of my generation as the 'star wars' is to the 70s folks. Keep looking.

gamelog III : the thing

2004-02-18T12:36:00.000-08:00

Listening to: Converge - Jane Doe

This is time when I should have told you about the new line-up on TV. Instead what I get is a lot of upcoming festivals. One of them (the Grammies, duh) is going to happen tonight and it will be airing it live at 6:30 am. Not that fanatical about it but I can sense the pressure of dressing up the singers must be facing to create new landmark in fashion and secondarily, the validation of their musical genius. And then later on in the month, we have to deal with the Oscars too. additionally, the Wednesday primetime slots on star world are open with Ally McBeal being pulled out thus treating us with spectaculars like 'the fake shit they do on TV wrestling' (informative) and 'New York in movies' (spectacular. they featured Woody Allen, Martin Scorsese and Spike Lee).

I also finished another game. This one is a 3rd person action adventure which brings FPS and more importantly, 'survival horror' elements into the mix. On top of all this, it has the added baggage of being a movie franchise and you can see the bars being very high for this one. On most counts, 'the thing' has succeeded. Yes. You read that right. Instead of an upcoming movie, they took a cult 1980s horror hit by the great John Carpenter (remind me to watch 'the screaming room' on HBO, a half hour series focusing on the horror genre).

For us movie fans, the game gives us the original board signifying 'outpost 31' at the start of the game and Kurt Russell's last recorded message. For n00bs to the movie, it is basically about an alien virus loose on an arctic substation. this seems pretty much the standard setting for a thousand b-grade flicks including the great 'evil dead' (bow down to Bruce Campbell who provides the over voice in 'Spiderman movie - the game'. he also got a lifetime achievement award at http://www.mutantreviewers.com/). This movie perfected the isolation hysteria subgenre. The horror doesn't come out of strange animals and creatures, although the animatronics were terrifying creating the spider-with-a-man's-head and the dog-man hybrid. The horror came out of trust or the lack thereof. Put a bunch of people (strangely, no women. not even for PCness) in a place where you can't escape and where anyone of them could be the alien masquerading as a human. Paranoia formed the backbone of the movie where dogs were not the best friend of a man. Guns were (I am no big dog lover but after seeing what the dogs mutated into, they are fast graduating to the clown phobia alert level).

If it is still not hammered in your head, the success of the game lies in porting the delusional and paranoid atmosphere from the movie. Oh and it does. Continuing in the vein of 'freedom fighters', you get to lead NPCs wherever possible. Apart from health, you have to give those guns, heal them and keep them clear of particularly gored corners otherwise they may go berserk. On top of that, they may randomly turn into the alien. On all other counts, it fares well. The guns are generic but good with a FPS option for combat. Team orders and AI are adequate. The enemy AI is a bit on the lower side where they go tripping on their own mines. some of the games I have been traditionally afraid of are claustrophobic ones (I had completed tomb raider II: the director's cut which had 4 levels underwater after the rig level. still gives me the creeps). This game was a big step for me (therapy?) considering the initial levels all where in cramped quarters and one totally in a caved laboratory. Add to that the camera which focused on the enemies and then when it was all clear, slowly crept back into position. Now if you remember the Valkyrie influenced hallucinations in Max Payne, you would get an idea of the disorientation I had to face.

Update: lost this post in other things. A week too late. I have started replaying freedom fighters and a much raped version of Soldier of Fortune II. The hacking team may get all categorical about it but there is no denying it. Instead of ripping the game, they raped it. They took out the dialogues, the music, the full motion videos (if there were any) and - horror of horrors - even the gore ability. The only reason to play this game is the advanced dying physics and the fun of killing anywhere specifically.

pazz and jop awards 2003

2004-02-15T13:53:00.000-08:00

The Village Voice has an excellent list of the best music released the past year along with some editorials and reader comments. they make for some very intresting reading.

On the internet fueled habit of hording music and constantly discovering something new:

The itch is palpable, a genuine jones as overpowering as any urge for a cigarette or other drug that I've never bothered to touch. I'm 45, I know more than I've ever known about music, I hear more than I've ever heard, and I just can't stop myself from wanting to hear things for the first time more than I want to hear what I've heard before. -Steve Pick, St. Louis, Missouri

When is it enough? When do you have enough records? Have enough cheesy rock bios? Seen enough gigs? How much of a blur does everything have to become in your head before you close the door and confront a lifetime's (or at least half of one's) accumulation? - David M. Snyder, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

The amount of good new music in the universe is probably expanding at a relatively constant rate-more this year than last, more last than the year before, etc. It may be harder to find, harder to sort out, etc., but it's out there somewhere. And the trend will continue until civilization collapses, which is unlikely (unless Bush gets re-elected). - TOM HULL, Wichita, Kansas

On subversive attitude towards women:

It was the year of the Woman Best Seen and Not Heard. Society didn't just disagree with these women, it loathed them. Madonna wasn't allowed to be a critic of American life. The Dixie Chicks weren't allowed to dis the president. Amy Lee wasn't allowed to get pissed at radio jocks objectifying her. And Liz Phair was absolutely not allowed to go mainstream pop. - JEANNE FURY, Brooklyn, New York

On Black Eyed Peas' pop genius:

For the Black Eyed Peas to get on pop radio with a slickly produced but smart and soulful rap that associates the CIA with international terrorism and implies that George Bush is a liar would deserve our attention. That the tune is impossibly catchy, with a boy-pop pinup singing the candy-coated chorus, makes it a subversive cultural milestone. - RICK MITCHELL, Houston, Texas

On essential similarities between rap and rock:

What separates White Stripes and OutKast from other notionally mainstream artists is that neither is daunted by the obligation to make transcendent music. For them, mythic significance is just another cool toy to play with. - ARTIN JOHNSON, Manhattan

Andre 3000, with his I-do-not-want-what-I-think-I-might-got, Mango-on-SNL steez, made one of the most emo records of the year. The Love Below and Cursive's The Ugly Organ are essentially about the same topic-men grappling with their ability to love, kicking it ice cold. - JULIANNE SHEPHERD, Portland, Orego

Missy is the new Dylan, as in Dylan 69, so wired in to the great humming generator in the stars that even her lesser efforts are better than anyone else's best. - JOSHUA CLOVER, Berkeley, California

And some funny ones:

What Stacy's mom's solo album would sound like: Liz Phair.
What Stacy's dad's solo album would sound like: Rod Stewart, As Time Goes By . . . .
What Stacy's solo album would sound like before she heard "Stacy's Mom": the Donnas, Spend the Night.
What Stacy's solo album would sound like after she heard "Stacy's Mom": the Distillers, Coral Fang.
AMY PHILLIPS, Manhattan

Given the long rock-porn connection, where's the epidemic of band names taken off spam e-mail-the Penis Patch, Size Matters, Wife's First Black Cock? - DAN EPSTEIN, Los Angeles, California

Without a doubt, the debut of the year was by the U.K.'s Led Zeppelin. I know, everyone says they're just ripping off the White Stripes and Queens of the Stone Age, but they are so much more than that. Who else would have the guts to debut with a three-disc live set? Their deadpan take on every conceivable '70s rock excess-including, hilariously, the de rigueur 20-minute drum solo-works as well as it does because these guys can actually play! - SCOTT SEWARD, Tisbury, Massachusetts

On Corporate Bigwigs:

The sooner all of the major labels merge into one big label, the better, because when it eventually goes bankrupt it's just a matter of time before Lars Ulrich can get down to doing what he really wants: coming to your house personally to beat you up. - SEAN CARRUTHERS, Toronto, Ontario

"The studio system is dead. It died . . . when the corporations took over and the studio heads suddenly became agents and lawyers and accountants. The power is with the people now. The workers have the means of production!" George Lucas, circa 1970. Ain't it funny how the outsiders become fat cats?
- BUD SCOPPA, Studio City, California

On the state of rock:

The Strokes, Kings of Leon, Jet, the White Stripes-what do these groups have in common? Well, they're rock, for one. They all, um, rock, too. They also have very little to do with anything new. Maybe that's all right, though. They all sound pretty good and certainly point toward the possibility of somethingbetter. Then again, if rock is dead, the recording industry is dead, and two of the four Beatles are dead, maybe straight-ahead rock is new all over again. Even better, it's a little faster this time. - ALEC FOEGE, Westport, Connecticut

Where's rock on my list?? A couple of years ago already, after All Tomorrow's Parties in L.A., a couple of friends came back scratching their heads saying, "It's funny-they're still listening to rock over there." That's the most concise way I can put it. - JOHN WOJTOWICZ, Vienna, Austria

On Sean Paul:

If rap is about voices-as-drummers, dancehall might be about voices-as-guitarists, or voices-as-horn sections: singers working repeated melodic hooks against sparse beats. In the case of Sean Paul, though, voice-as-symphony orchestra is more like it. - SCOTT WOODS, Toronto, Ontario

guilty as charged of loving Kriss Kross as well as OutKast. what? they wore clothes backwards.

I love "Hey Ya!" But who even pretended not to? It's the most accessible hip-hop hit since Kris Kross's "Jump." It's also a hopeful sign that people still crave weirdness from pop music even in this most conformist of times. - ROB SHEFFIELD, Brooklyn, New Yor

And finally some very good roundups:

I also have no patience with and feel quite sorry for idiot rock critics who think "pop hits and hip-hop are suddenly very good!"; idiot rock critics who think "our generation's newfound ability to inexpensively download individual songs online" opens up a world of discovery that hadn't pretty much always been available on the radio and TV and jukeboxes and mixtapes and dance clubs and used record stores in the first place; idiot rock critics who think albums are any less albumlike now than they've always been; idiot rock critics who rejoice that "there are still acts out there who make quality albums built to last and not just a couple transitory hit singles"; idiot rock critics who think it was okay for Liz Phair to discuss her sex life when she was in her 20s but now it's somewhat unseemly since she's over 30 and all; idiot rock critics who think 40-year-old white guys who like hip-hop are unseemly; idiot rock critics who think grownups who like Justin Timberlake are perverse; idiot rock critics who like Justin Timberlake now but used to call me perverse for liking "Ice Ice Baby" and Will to Power and Amy Grant; idiots obscurantist enough to "still not get" the Strokes or White Stripes but who hype scores of more generic garage bands; idiots lazy enough to believe the Strokes and White Stripes are the best garage bands out there; idiots who think the Strokes and White Stripes are garage bands in the first place; idiots in the Strokes; idiots in the White Stripes; and um, lots of other people. (Many of which idiot categories sometimes include me.) - Chuck Eddy, Brooklyn, New York

The idea that people listen to only one kind of music has always been ridiculous. But I've rarely had it driven home more potently than during a monthlong stretch early last year. Nelly played a sold-out show at the city auditorium and a few weeks later, Good Charlott and NOFX did the same. I saw plenty of young people at both shows. But the real headturner came at an alt.country show (Cross Canadian Ragweed and Jason Boland and the Stragglers) at a local boot-scooting club where I spotted a dozen or so who had been at Good Charlotte. After a few minutes of conversation, it turned out that most of them had also been at Nelly. - L. Kent Wolgamott, Lincoln, Nebraska

This was a great year for metal, indie rock, noise rock, garage rock, garage rap, underground hip-hop, overground hip-hop, country, jazz, electronica, lots of things. And corporate oligopoly and cluelessly vengeful industry panic didn't stop any of these from evolving before our eyes, as long as we kept them open. - CHUCK EDDY, Brooklyn, New York

Here's the link. check out the complete feature.

hung like a whale

2004-02-15T11:07:00.000-08:00

tonight i saw american idol and i have seen the future. this is where music is going to be. the new internet sensation. my personal god and role model.

ALL HAIL WILLIAM HUNG

for more info go to http://www.williamhung.net/

the great outsourcing debate

2004-02-14T13:02:00.000-08:00

Finally someone with the resources has done a complete coverage of the whole outsourcing brouhaha. Wired.com has presented a complete feature on it which covers all sides of the debate especially what are my views on it as a total outsider

The obvious cycle of upgradation which people are forgetting in protectionist fervour:

But the rest of us, like it or not, will have to adjust. The hints about how to make this adjustment are evident at Patni. As I meet programmers and executives, I hear lots of talk about quality and focus and ISO and CMM certifications and getting the details right. But never - not once - does anybody mention innovation, creativity, or changing the world. Again, it reminds me of Japan in the '80s - dedicated to continuous improvement but often at the expense of bolder leaps of possibility.
And therein lies the opportunity for Americans. It's inevitable that certain things - fabrication, maintenance, testing, upgrades, and other routine knowledge work - will be done overseas. But that leaves plenty for us to do.

history to put this in context:

A century ago, 40 percent of Americans worked on farms. Today, the farm sector employs about 3 percent of our workforce. But our agriculture economy still outproduces all but two countries. Fifty years ago, most of the US labor force worked in factories. Today, only about 14 percent is in manufacturing. But we've still got the largest manufacturing economy in the world - worth about $1.9 trillion in 2002. We've seen this movie before - and it's always had a happy ending. The only difference this time is that the protagonists are forging pixels instead of steel. And accountants, financial analysts, and other number crunchers, prepare for your close-up. Your jobs are next. After all, to export sneakers or sweatshirts, companies need an intercontinental supply chain. To export software or spreadsheets, somebody just needs to hit Return.
What makes this latest upheaval so disorienting for Americans is its speed. Agriculture jobs provided decent livelihoods for at least 80 years before the rules changed and working in the factory became the norm. Those industrial jobs endured for some 40 years before the twin pressures of cheap competition overseas and labor-saving automation at home rewrote the rules again. IT jobs - the kind of high-skill knowledge work that was supposed to be our future - are facing the same sort of realignment after only 20 years or so. The upheaval is occurring not across generations, but within individual careers. The rules are being rewritten while people are still playing the game. And that seems unjust.

go to Wired.com's complete coverage on outsourcing

ETCON notes

2004-02-14T13:01:00.002-08:00

I am at the opposite end of the net spectrum from Cory Doctrow who is constantly plugged into the happennings and discussions. He takes an active part in the development of the net and I am one of the million observers. What makes it especially depressing is that I am aware of the progress. If I was just another guy whose main pleasure was being a exhibtionist, it wouldn't matter so much but right now I feel like a lam3r whose life (or his ideal life) is passing him by.

Anyway, It is nice to know I share some habits with alpha geeks.

All geeks have a todo.txt file. They use texteditors (Word, BBEd, Emacs, Notepad) not Outlook or whathaveyou. What we keep in our todo is the stuff we want to forget. Geeks say they remember details well, but they forget their spouses' birthdays and the dry-cleaning. Because it's not interesting.
It's the 10-second rule: if you can't file something in 10 seconds, you won't do it. Todo.txt involves cut-and-paste, the simplest interface we can imagine.

running notes by Cory here.

Also here are some notes on the economy being spawned by MMORPG gamers which I discovered some months ago was the 56th largest in the world.

Once MMORPG users start trading goods on eBay, you create real-world torts and property interests in gamespace objects. Korean court awarded damages to someone whose gameworld artifact vanished.
I did economic analysis of MMORPGs, "shadow pricing" of gamespace econ. Analyzed Everquest world Norath. GDP/cap: $2000 -- comparable to Tunisia, Bulgaria. Economist said, "Game economy bigger than Bulgaria".

running notes here by Cory

the state of my city

2004-02-14T13:01:00.001-08:00

For some time I have been referring to my hometown as the armpit of India. A wasteland. well, here is some news to give you an idea about it. and yes, you read that right. the students are protesting and lighting up houses because they are not allowed to cheat.

Students' right? 'Dangerously wrong

PATNA: "There are no students in Intermediate colleges of Bihar; there are only examinees," said a senior official of the Bihar State Intermediate Council while reacting on the recent violence by students in the state to protest punitive action against use of unfair means in the ongoing itermediate exam. At least two persons died at Sasaramwhen the police opened fire at examinees indulging in arson and violence after their six colleagues were expelled for allegedly using unfair means. Earlier at Biharsharif, the Inter examinees turned violent after some students were expelled for using unfair means.

read more here.

Enough. HC wants people to 'decide'

PATNA: The Patna High Court on Wednesday "consigned" the case filed by the Bihar Vyavsayik Sangharsh Morcha on the deteriorating law and order situation of the state.
A division bench, comprising of Chief Justice Ravi S Dhavan and Justice Navin Sinha, observed that in a state where students consider it their right to use unfair means in the examinations and, if prevented, damage public property, it is upto the people of the state to decide what type of law and order situation and administration they want. The CJ also stated that if a person feels hurt in the present law and order situation of the state, he/she may file a fresh writ petition in the high court. But since much water has flowed down the Ganga in past one year without any fruitful result, it is of no use to keep the case alive, he stated.

the great internet rummage

2004-02-14T13:01:00.000-08:00

Listening to: Jawbreaker - Misc. Bootlegs

i have been quite busy these days. after the bloggies announcement, i made it a point to check out fellow bloggers and see what is so special about them. that eventually lead me to the indian bloggies and asian blogging awards and various such alternatives (including a Bhartiya Blog Kela for the worst of them all). this has led me to a internet trail of intresting stories and awards and blogs and what not reminding me of my whole night jaunts for anything to intrest me.

anyway, this gives me a reason to procrastinate again. but for your pleasure, i am going to post all intresting links and stories. whoever you are. hehe. also it led me to find new memes and techniques being adopted by the blogosphere and well, gave me a inferiority complex. so i went ahead with the plan to update my blog links, stats, et all. a full scale redesign is not possible right now but i think i did enough for now. the last update will be done tonight. meanwhile enjoy the stuff.

i will link to the rest of the blogs after checking them out for a week or so. for some, blogging is the new one page homepage of yesterday - embarassing and n00b. but there is one thing very special about everyone of them - their personality reflects in it. later then.

a false ending

2004-02-08T09:41:00.000-08:00

Listening to: Seemless - haze

You know the feeling when you bring closure to a part of your life. A feeling of finality.

Somehow, it always eludes me. I may not do things for a month or so and just when I think that its time to make it official, it starts again. I had earlier posted a list of movies I saw last year and now when I had not seen even one in over a month, I thought it was over for good. Too soon.

Remember this is December. The time when all movie channels have to fulfill their holy duty of a blockbuster screening at the end of the year. Sometimes the broadcaster may cut down n the number of specials if they are all from the same bouquet so as not to clash with each other. Also, the quality of movie (in terms of quantity of money gathered at the BO) variates with the year and this being 2004, the quality was somewhere between bad 2003 (nothing special about this year) and super humongous 2000 (when the only movie to justify the millennium transfer was the biggest grosser - yes that waterworks special - titanic).

So now I have seen one bad summer action movie - Spiderman - because I seriously had nothing else to do. They don't even try to put a decent ending these days when sequels have already been planned. Instead, we have to endure shitty no reason whatsoever separations. (What happened to peter parker? had he become impotent due to the spider or what? oh, the pain of schlock fests like this.)

On the other hand I saw 'a streetcar named desire' (the original Marlon Brando one) and to say anything would still be an understatement. I know for sure that I would be trying out a lot of other old movies now. This one was sourced from an old friend who likes such old movies, musicals and classic novels a lot. The irony is that he introduced me to the heavy side of music and then went to discover the delights of previously stated art forms. I guess I am in line too. Anyway, after watching so many bad romance movies in the past year, I wanted to see some original pioneering work. TCM (Turner Classic Movies) stopped airing some years ago thus putting cartoon network in a 24 hour slot. I lost my momentum then.

Still, ASND was not exactly what I expected. I was hoping for old school romance unlike the new ones where behind every pretense, the only story in them is that the characters had to sleep with each other and thus ease the tension built up in 2 hours. Instead, I got this landmark of a movie with contrasting acting styles. This movie paved the way for the realistic acting of Marlon Brando as I have read again and again. In retrospect (forced grandeur. hehe), Janet Leigh's acting seems overtly theatric in contrast to the others. It was a nice movie in the end. In fact, I saw it again after reading all the history behind it to understand the context. If you haven't seen it, you are missing out on an American institution.

More classics to come.

another old internet trend to point out my worthlessness

2004-02-03T12:31:00.000-08:00

At age 19:

Writer, painter and filmmaker Jean Cocteau published his first volume of poetry.

By age 19, W. B. Yeats "lived, breathed, ate, drank and slept poetry."

French symbolist poet Arthur Rimbaud ("A Season in Hell") abandoned his writing. He had proposed that poets become visionaries by pursuing a complete derangement of the senses. Later he became a gunrunner in Africa.

Gore Vidal, who never bothered with college, completed his first novel.

Abner Doubleday devised the rules for baseball.

Russian composer Modest Mussorgsky resigned his Imperial Guard commission for a life of "meaningful endeavor" -- writing music.

Paleontologist Richard Leakey launched his first expedition in search of human fossils.

Tired of watching friends fall prey to drugs and crime, Matty Rich fought back by directing "Straight Out of Brooklyn."

Henry David Thoreau delivered a Harvard commencement address. Expanding on Emerson's 1836 essay on "Nature", he proposed that man should work one day a week and leave six free for the "sublime revelations of nature."

Horticulturist Luther Burbank read Charles Darwin's book, The Variation of Animals and Plants Under Domestication. Inspired by this, he went on to create hundreds of new varieties of fruits, vegetables, and flowers.

an argument against roswell

2004-01-29T09:27:00.000-08:00

Listening to: AC/DC - highway to hell

After seeing so many cult like sites, listening to a good soundtrack and being ambushed by some fans, I started watching Roswell for a short time. Please clarify exactly why do people like to so much after reading this.

First of all, they have had 3 seasons to ponder over such questions. Also they are based on a series of graphic novels and they have a much bigger tendency to examine originations of characters. Repeatedly. So I expect some answers.
If all the matters they are dealing with is essentially teenage ones, why the whole overtone of aliens? I know that might provide a bit of novelty value but using that as a content is limited to covering-up their secrets (which might have been any secret. they may have been Mexican guerilla fighters tired of US FTAA policies in Latin America and thus they had been raised from birth to be such. much nicer)
For teenage issues I can see saved by the bell and Beverly Hills 90210. Thank you very much.
Whenever they come out with their secret to someone, it is more like a racial difference, "mom, I am actually an alien, as is max and his baby." (Which seemed more like that they are Hispanic Muslims) isn't their any gravity in being an alien left? That is why ET never came back to make an authorized sequel trilogy. even when max gives up the baby so he could lead a normal life away from all this mess, the only parallel I could draw was with he being a ghetto superstar and his son/daughter growing up to become a crackwhore/dealer.
Now Max and her old flame (both half human) have a baby which is fully human. Michael says, "Pure genetics. 1/2 + 1/2 =1". Ok so what? We are humans to the power of 1028 or what? Does this serial has any brains or is just there to infuriate me?
More about the alien stuff. Max has a GF (who is btw very cute) and his sister is married. And they have very normal and 'satisfying' sexual relations as it seems because there was no issues of infertility and the likes before the marriage which would have yielded problems. it would very interesting if they devoted at least 1 episode to tell us exactly what parts of a human system (I remember skeletal, endocrinal, digestive, central nervous, reproductive, respiratory and some others) are human and which one are not.
so that leaves us with the mental make-up. If all the powers are being streamed from their brain, I think that is still alien. As their memory also records all which has happened as aliens as well as humans, more proof that their brains have alien capabilities. So why all the teenage stuff? I mean they have undergone some serious shit and can't have the maturity levels of teenagers.

There are so many loose ends; constant viewing would have helped me point out some more. But this is it. I wouldn't have any problems if Max's current GF and ex-GF would have made out till 3rd base instead of blowing herself up. Well, this doesn't work for me. I hope very well for people who do watch it.

movies that i saw '03

2004-01-23T09:48:00.000-08:00

Listening to: motion picture soundtrack - the future freaks me out

One of my activities had to go up on the altar for sacrifice and make enough time for other pending activities and my movie viewing habit has died out. I am not sure if that is the sole reason. It may also be one of things I got saturated of. This includes quick-make noodles, McDonalds, an onion with each meal and glucose supplements in orange flavor which I started having in my jaundice phase.

Anyway, I have decided to put up a list of movies I saw in the last some months considering there have been no new additions in the past month. So this is safely the definitive list of movies I saw in 2003, mostly on TV. No reviews, just some words in front of really bad movies. It wouldn't hurt if you could comment on anyone of the movies. Will give other people a good idea of what to rent and which one to miss.

Legend
b - Bad

- Matrix
- Somebody like you (b) : I thought Ashley Judd in panties would be a good idea. Bad choice.
- Out of sight
- The core (b) : can it be more anymore stereotypical?
- Matrix reloaded
- Dil chahta hai (Indian)
- Suraj ka satvan ghoda (Indian art flick. highly recommended)
- The wedding planner (b)
- Psycho '98 : still scary
- Ginger snaps : the only good horror flick apart from 'the ring' and other Japanese movies.
- bend it like beckham
- The haunting (b)
- mimic (b)
- Cocktail : better than risky business
- Bruce almighty (b)
- As good as it gets : nice
- Strange days
- playing Mona Lisa : some great acid sequences
- The big hit : the best adaptation of pure hongkong action flicks to a Hollywood environment. Hilarious
- Sugar and spice : black comedy. Indeed
- drop dead gorgeous (b)
- save the last dance : the mtv production pisses me off but nice moves.
- French kiss
- High fidelity : this ROCKS
- When Harry met sally : what? I watch romance. No big deal
- Blair witch project 2_book of shadows (b) : rape. Very gross
- Silence of the lambs : finally I get to watch it. Still scary. Too much
- Little Nicky
- Airheads : another great hair metal flick with guest lemmy from motorhead. God is here
- Jossy and the pussycats (b) : why? A travesty of time and space.
- Memento DVD (movie of the year) : this shit is good on DVD. You HAVE to watch it.
- Midnight in the garden of good and evil : strange movie with 2 of my favorite actors
- 28 days (b)
- Clueless : the soundtrack rocks
- Everybody says I am fine (Indian)
- American beauty : I can see the movie over and over and still love it till I grow out of teens.
- Undercover brother : SOLID!!!!
- Fast times at Richmond high : Cameron Crowe classic. Also one of the best nude shots ever
- Girl interrupted : Ryder and jolie kiss and everything is great
- Along came a spider
- 12 monkeys : was this a French production? A good SF flick.
- finding Forrester : unrealistic but nice
- Loser (b): why? Why?
- Rosemary's baby : one of the earlier Roman Polanski flicks. The ending. Chills down my neck
- Shallow Hal (b) : what happened to the farrelly brothers?
- keeping the faith : Jenna elfman is hot. As is Edward Norton
- Cruel intentions (b): bad flick. Good sex and kisses. Bad ending
- Three kings : this rocks or what? Amazing.
- O brother, where art thou? : The Coen Brothers rock too. And that soundtrack is ethereal.
- East is east
- Frequency
- The negotiator
- The graduate : now I understand Wayne's world 2 and a Simpsons episode from the 5th season
- 15 minutes
- Risky business
- Bicentennial man : more sentimental than Asimov intended
- Dr. no : the 1st and best James bond flick
- Hannibal : they changed the ending from the novel. Damn mofos
- The thing : classic Carpenter. Isolation, paranoia and the best animatronics.
- If only, the man with rain in his shoes : nice British love story with Penelope Cruz.
- The tenant : the other Roman Polanski. Even more terrifying.
- A.I : this was good. I don't why people didn't like it
- Serendipity (b): only because of Cusack. I love this guy.
- run Lola run : techno makes a comeback. This is one tripping music video
- Payback
- Everyone says I love you : woody Allen is my new favorite director
- Dinner with friends
- The best man (b): this movie fails at being a black flick.
- Wayne's world 2
- Sleepless in Seattle : love it. Like serendipity, the couple doesn't meet for the major length of the movie.
- The cider house rules
- Jackie brown : my first Tarantino flick
- Full frontal : nice. Duchonvy was the best
- dancing in September
- Frankie and Johnny : I hunted down the piano tune. 'Claire de lune' Debussy
- Three to tango : Perry deserves better
- Clear and present danger
- True lies
- Ringu (the ring)
- Erin bronkovich
- Unbreakable : shymalam's much ignored flick. It is actually good.
- Ring 0_birthday : after memento, my favorite drama flick.
- screwed (b): why do the SNL cast have such mediocre careers in movies?
- Ace Ventura: pet detective
- Sweet November (b): really really worthless. And anachronistic
- My big fat Greek wedding
- Naked gun 2 1/2 - the smell of fear : and I thought hot shots was the epitome of slapstick
- Joy ride : a worthy movie in the slasher suspense genre.
- Jerry Maguire : is this really Cameron Crowe's work?
- The gingerbread man
- Final destination : 'into the void' - NIN
- American pie 2 (b)
- Monkey bone : another ignored movie. The sheer scale of imagination. w00t!
- Zoolander : I can't get enough of shitty punny comedy.
- Miquad alley : Mexican art flick. Salma Hayek hotter than ever as a crackwhore. Wow
- Getting personal : bad movie which I really like for no reason.

i met someone

2004-01-21T10:03:00.000-08:00

Listening to: the Weakerthans - Reconstruction Site

Relax, this is not another teen love story. Well, I originally planned to play a pun of sorts and tell you that I finally found a guy in this armpit of a city that I live in. I know him from school and it is such a relief to have someone to discuss your studies with. But as it turns out, fate somehow knows all my plans beforehand.

Here I was after a 3 hour practice test. This regimen has slowly got my confidence improving everyday. I believe I can do better and better everyday. So anyway, I came out of the exam hall and went to the nearest traffic junction. This intersection is pretty busy and has 3 main shopping areas on each side. There is a guy who runs a restaurant and a bar and a fast food joint in the same mall overlooking this busy square. I had planned to check out its fast food joint, (bar and restaurant covered, thank you) a very textbook case. It had the usual Sino-Manchurian cuisine (basically the Punjabi versions of chowmein and other mutilated specials), a south Indian list (how I hate coconut) and McBurger imitations. Its got big wide glass panes to see the real life action muted on the streets and something caught my eye. A foreigner sitting alone. That too a girl.

you have to understand why I was so shocked. If you check up on lonely planet's India guide, the first sentence in this state's entry is 'a corrupt wasteland. Go at your own risk.' or something to that effect.

So I ganged up all the xenophobic elements of society who were anyway leering at the 'phirangi' (all girls are extinct in this city as they are soon going to be all over India very aptly picturized in a new indie movie) and marched to throw her out of the city. Hehe. Actually, I went to have a burger as I had planned. A short side note on the food. It was actually good. The served it in a very nice style and it was really big. I had specifically asked them to keep cheese out of the equation and they had complied. Also they had put a sauce I last remember from the time it was liberally doused all over pork ribs in TGIF.

I had my priorities right. So after eating I went up to her. She was an Israeli (good thing rannoush is not here) and had detoured here after spending three months over at Andaman and Nicobar islands. She took a boat or something and landed up in Calcutta after 3 days. Here's the funny part. Instead of going straight to Mumbai from there, she had to renew here VISA or something and for that she had to go to the border. The nearest one was the Nepal border. So finally here hopscotch and skipping sessions came into use and one idiotic government ritual later, this was the closest 'big' city. Waiting for the train in the night, I had caught up with her.

Instead of my usual habits, I am not going to overanalyze this meeting and take every last bit of fun out of it. Suffice to say that this chance encounter was timed well. I am almost at my breaking limit. This whole intentional celibacy has started affecting me know. Staying cut off from my friends and the world in general in real life (I had one too before this PC swallowed it) was affective in making me study but now, its become like a prison. A good one with heating and nice food. But still a prison. It felt so good to talk to someone the same wavelength again. We talked about Israeli trance scene, the freedom of girls and some other things.

It is still surreal to meet washed up people in this place. But I hope more people are mislead to my city.

gamerlog IV : with new PC pix

2004-01-10T11:07:00.000-08:00

to my favorite part. gamelog!!! so i have picked up 2 games to start gaming again and thats after trying quite a few to work. the first one is Blood Omen 2. this is what scares people away. this is like the gaming equivalent of relic hunter. a B grade Tomb raider. this is like the bible of bad adevnture games. a really bad combat system which is slow i guess the mouse running around must be laughing at us slowhands. the explanations are ridiculous. they might as well have invented electricity in this mediveial world instead of operating doors through some weird glyph magic. and the puzzles may be nice with the levers for a box in a room situated somewhere else but which town planner has such a convulted sense of architecture? the only reason i am still sticking to it is because i have started it. so here's a warning. do not start playing this game even if your choices are limited to ET on the atari and this.

the other game is the best i have played since IGI. its called freedom fighters. this game is so awesome, for the first time in my gaming life i am actually using teamplay. i am not into squad 3rd person shooters like hidden and dangerous but this game just blows everything else. shortly, its set in a alternate history where the soiet union never collapsed and actually went from strength to strength capturing South America. the game starts when a invasion of US takes place. all you 'get your war on' people, check this game out. maybe i am looking too deep into a game but the similarities between the current occupation in iraq and the war in the game is too good to miss. the newscasts which the government sanitates to show everything is all right (and the hilarious headlines scrolling in the bottom are not to be missed). the game wants you to do things to get charisma points and thus quantifies the repsect you have in the undergournd rebellion and the amount of troops you can carry. the gameplay just blows everything else into dust. this is like the best 3rd person shooter next to Max Payne that i have got my hands on. changing a city into a war zone is done quite well. enemy troops' AI is probably the best i have encountered. or maybe it is the increased difficulty setting i have resolved to play on. the level design is not entirely linear and gives you a set of areas interconnected to form a mission which you have to go back and forth. the rebel base in the sewers is so fucking awesome, you have to see it to believe it. i can keep going on and on but i guess you get the idea. this is what my 'brand new PC' is made for. get this game, double time.

also check out the following pix of my new PC. they are a bit low quality ones shot in posthaste with a bad webcam but i guess the coolness gets across.

gushing for the black mama

2004-01-10T09:45:00.000-08:00

Listening to: Unearth - endless

strange days indeed. the start of the year makes me feel better about music then last year. i just hope it turns out to be better too. 2003 was definitely the year nu-metal died a slow excrutiating painful death. i am not sure if i am weeping for it for only a few bands of this much hated genre sound good in this short period of aging. on the opposite side, due to the internet (and this is where its actual benefits come into spotlight) i am now listening to every good band in the underground harcore/emocore scene and a handful of indie music too.theundergroundscene.net proclaims the aforementioned band to be big in the next year.

even more weirdness has engrossed me in the past few days. currently my life has only 4 activites - studies, TV, sleeping/eating and other neccessary bodily functions which should be bunkable and the PC. my "brand new PC". mmmmmmmmm... *drool*. in a quick succesion of what may seem like co-incidences but what my grandmom ardently believes to be god's will being enacted so that i would study, cable TV went down. the cable operators (each handling a local colony/residential area as a monopoly) went on strike to get taxes down (update : they yielded today to show free news channel and their ilk). more importantly, i did not feel the loss of a 6 hour ordeal as it had become. i had almost reached saturation point watching so many serials documented elsewhere here. simulataneously, my ISP's cross-atlantic connection went down. so i had enough time now to study and on 1 day, i completed my maths part syllabus (i so hate co-ordinate geomtrical interpretation of complex numbers). devoid of anything else to do, this could have been the ultimate nightmare. it was saved by my "brand new PC" and also helped quickstart my gaming schedule again.

so i have now devoted an entire partition to games. it hasn't been so easy. as said in the earlier post, XP has been giving me a lot of problems. more of them are asociated with the ancient graphics drivers bundled along with VIA's motherboard. the infamous S3 ProSavage DDR for its hardware TNL support, theoretically. but i have made my peace. i went online to read XP startup tweaks over at ArsTechnica and 3D spotlight and - hold your breath windoze ppl - got the startup down to 35 seconds from the moment i switch on my "brand new PC" to a fully functional desktop. the XP loading bar doesn't even hang around for half an iteration. a lot of services were stopped mostly. i even updated S3's drivers but to no avail for games already giving me a problem. so i got HALO: combat evolved for pc and installed that along with DX9.0b. it refused to start telling me to increase my RAM (in the works. probably will get another 128 this week or next) and then telling me that the video card was known to have problems. arghhh! anyway, i got it started in safe mode but committing such an atrocity to what is a purely graphics based games is not in my blood. then there are those 3 CD games. its a really strange thing. i have tried out 3 games of 3 CDs each - return of the king, hulk and simpsons. all of their installation's work very well but when its time to rea the 2nd CD, they just fail. and no, all of them do work as tested on my earlier system and other people's PCs too. strange, ain't it?

not that i haven't worked on my own. go over to www.tommti-systems.de/ to get a 3d analyzer thingy which takes any exe of a game, and then provides all the options to starting it. the reason of its immmense utility, especially in the SE Asia market considering the popularity enjoyed by VIA motherboards is that it has a hardware TNL emulator. basically it makes the game think its working on TNL Graphics card and has thus allowed me to play spiderman now, although i am not really sure if it was worth the effort. the other software i finally get to work on is samurize.com. its like a god send application for power users. it basically utilizes low level programming of the VB sorts, really initutive and creates a combined display of motherboard temperatures, your mail status, teoti feeds to any thing under the world in a 'litestepy' kind of shell thingy. you have to check it out just for the immense coolness.

a new PC !

2004-01-09T11:31:00.000-08:00

listening to: Between the Buried and me - Mordecai

damn this weather. who would have expected that my city situated in the northern plains and far from the extreme temperatures of central india is now the coldest place in india. it shifts from 15 degrees to 4 degrees in the night. all i can think is of the next test i have to give at 8 am. i know my hands will freeze and stop working and that will be the fruit of my toil and labor currently in progress.

right now is a time to be happy. suddenly i had this idea last tuesday to get my PC upgraded. it would have been a fantasy to put it in practise cuz my grandmom would have not allowed anything new to distract me from my main aim and function in life - studies. surprisingly, there was no opposition. now my earlier PC was bought in 2000 and now three years old, i had only got the RAM increased. so that explains my semi-retro interest in gaming picking up good ones from 3-5 years ago. inquiries into the market for a top of the line graphics card were disapointing. turns out i810 only supported cards uptill 2x and even the low end ones now work on 4x and upwards. plan A cancelled. a friend suggested for a complete upgrade in a giveback scheme. and by saturday, i had bought myself a new one.

now the old one was a P3 550 with 192 MB ram and 20 GB HDD. so i paid some 15000 bucks (thats approx 375 $) and i got a P4 1.8 Ghz with 128 Mb DDR-RAM and 40 GB HDD. as the pics will illustrate, i also got a cool cabinet (although my grandmom thinks its a bit garish) and everything else in black too. oh and not to forget a optical mouse. i have kept my old philips speakers. they are mroe trustworthy than any of the shit out there.

the problem is that its got XP loaded. now i have worked on it but for the past 5 years or so, windows 98 has sort of dominated everything else. plus this whole new side of windows imported from NT isn't exactly helping. there is some really weird shit going on here. last night, i was online for around 20 mins and then suddenly the system tells me it has to shut down because Remote Procedure Call has some error or something. a WTF and 85 seconds later,(boot-up in 25 seconds. hehe) i went into the services administration thingy and set the error control right. plus a lot of programs just want to go on the internet by themselves. good thing they ask me first. or i think XP reports every request. whatever the case may be, i had to shut down windows update, windows messenger, WMP liscensing and a lot of other things just so to get things in control. it will take me some time to get used to XP but i think this bronco may not be all that wild.

lets review the performance too. my friend was telling me about the virtues of DDR ram. if you haven't heard, its got aggestible Video memory. you can change the amount of memory to use (in flavors of 8, 16 and 32) for video from the BIOS. still, i was a bit apprehensive as it was less than what i had earlier. all the programs are running better. long documents in opera7 and acrobat reader took time to scroll earlier and if they had photos, good luck. all of that has smoothed out. i installed the dialer of the ISP before setting up the modem and it took a serial connection instead. wonder, wonder.... anyway, i installed the games i was dying to play on a better system and that is where the disappointment sunk in. IGI 2 and Postal 2 were 2 of them and both have miserably failed here. IGI2's face models have become very intresting what with the ears being stretched to the face an all the text seems like klungon. Postal 2 refuses to work at a better pace but will co-operate when you pee in someone's house. you can see that the performance and smoothness of the game has improved but loading times have gone down signifying the death of any speciality in DDR.

My new year revelation

2003-12-31T14:39:00.000-08:00

i am now convinced that america is a terorist state. i finally had the opportunity to go through some Chomsky texts, the unabomber's manifesto and other selected works.

by now, some of u have made their minds on me as another anarchist freak. its easy to make generalizations but i implore everyone to go through the links which have brought me to this conclusion. click here to read some of chomsky's works.. i am posting some extracts too.

When a state is committed to such policies, it must somehow find a way to divert the population, to keep them from seeing what's happening around them. There are not many ways to do this. The standard ones are to inspire fear of terrible enemies about to overwhelm us, and awe for our grand leaders who rescue us from disaster in the nick of time.

That has been the pattern right through the 1980s, requiring no little ingenuity as the standard device, the Soviet threat, became harder to take seriously. So the threat to our existence has been Qaddafi and his hordes of international terrorists, Grenada and its ominous air base, Sandinistas marching on Texas, Hispanic narcotraffickers led by the arch-maniac Noriega, and crazed Arabs generally. Most recently it's Saddam Hussein, after he committed his sole crime — the crime of disobedience — in August 1990. It has become more necessary to recognize what has always been true: that the prime enemy is the Third World, which threatens to get "out of control."
____________________________

The close correlation between the drug racket and international terrorism (sometimes called "counterinsurgency", "low intensity conflict" or some other euphemism) is not surprising. Clandestine operations need plenty of money, which should be undetectable. And they need criminal operatives as well. The rest follows.

____________________________

(the strange part is that one of my friends told me to watch 'the tailor of panama' and see the similarities as to how you can create a war, referring to the current Iraq invasion)

And yet, when Noriega was finally indicted in Miami in 1988, all the charges except one were related to activities that took place before 1984 — back when he was our boy, helping with the US war against Nicaragua, stealing elections with US approval and generally serving US interests satisfactorily. It had nothing to do with suddenly discovering that he was a gangster and a drug-peddler — that was known all along.

It's all quite predictable, as study after study shows. A brutal tyrant crosses the line from admirable friend to "villain" and "scum" when he commits the crime of independence. One common mistake is to go beyond robbing the poor — which is just fine — and to start interfering with the privileged, eliciting opposition from business leaders.

By the mid 1980s, Noriega was guilty of these crimes. Among other things, he seems to have been dragging his feet about helping the US in the contra war. His independence also threatened our interests in the Panama Canal. On January 1, 1990, most of the administration of the Canal was due to go over to Panama — in the year 2000, it goes completely to them. We had to make sure that Panama was in the hands of people we could control before that date.

secondly i went through the unanbomber's manifesto. this doesn't exactly fall in the evidence category but it is a nice read. for ignorants, the unabomber was a prodigy in maths and music who went on to become a professor and then left the whole western civilization thing to reside in a shack in wilderness without water and electricity. from there, he sent out mailbombs to leading scientists for the next 17 years killing 2, disfiguring and maiming a lot and even stopping the airlines in 1995 with a bomb scare. he promised to stop this after his manifesto would be published in the papers. the washington post and the new york times took the responsibility and his brother identified him by his style of writing. as is widely quoted, his conditions in jail were better than how he was living by himself in the shack.

the reason he did all this was basically what is called these days as being a 'luddite'. he was opposed to technological growth at such a fast pace that society could not handle it responisibily. genetic research and nanotechnology is heading us down a road where atomic, chemical and bio warfare seems as lam3 as kevin mitnick would have been after years of being internet deprived.

i am not saying that his means justified his ends. what he did was wrong. he had no other way of getting his message across. as i have pointed out again and again, more relevant than Orwell is Aldous Huxley these days. the 'brave new world' scenario is here. in this sea of uselss information, everything is trivia and people have to go extraordinary lengths to excite and inform passively free public at large.

in an ironic twist, i did discover the unabomber in a big web of usless writings.
click here for the manifesto and
click here for the complete information on the trials and the timeline of the unabomber.

after a long time, i went through a decent thriller. John FX Sunderman's 'act of the apostles' is available online and is by far, one of the best books i have read. this is not related directly to the american condemantion but yes, all these have influenced me in to believing that nano and genetic warfare is indeed coming and is very close.

click here for the author's website/blog and
click here for the wired article which started this all.

and now for the clincher. a guy named john titor poped up on a forum in nov 2000 and kept posting till march 2001. he claimed that he was a guy from 2036 and had come back to get a old IBM computer. he then went on to discuss his life and other issues till march.

what convinced me that he was the real deal was his demenaor. there was no wild posts decrying everyone, there was no propaganda, and no trolling. he was not forcing anyone to believe him. he was not making predictions. if anyone had a bone with him and responded like normal trollz, he did not respond. he did not want anyone to believe him. but he answered to questions very lucidly and on asking even posted xeroxs of the instruction manual and photos of the timetravelling device.

he described a very different world in 2036. he stated the existence of multiverses which enable the functioning of the time travelling device. america was to go into a civil war by 2008 and existence of a police state would seem apparent by 2005. over 3 billion people would be wiped out in the ensuing chaos. bear in mind that when he posted this, 9/11 did not happen and all of this would seem a load of crap opposed to now when it is a reality. he also made some side comments on china launching a man into orbit and how mad cow disease would be the main scrouge.

its always bad to believe such anonymous people. but the proof would start coming by 2005 and well, due to multiple universes, it is possible for us to chnage the predicted outcome. but as such this new year is foreboding disaster and i would request all indians to probably return now that all the jobs have been shifted to gurgaon from silicon valley, san fransisco.

click here for the complete posts and info on john titor.

2003-12-27T10:54:00.000-08:00

update. i just got 3 new games today :-
1. shadow of destiny - a almost anime but set in some european town graphical adventure. it even has dated graphics but the story is good enough to go on. damn those konami guys. well the story is that u r sent back in time by about an hour so u can avert ur death. as cheesy as it sounds, its really good.
the other two are simpsons -hit and run which needs no introduction. the best game i have played this year. although i have to find the no-cd crack tonight. the last one is chasers. i have no info on this one. anyone knows?

go check out gamespot right now. they r rounding up the best games of the years, and are also giving some dubious awards as well as rounding up the news.

musiclog

2003-12-22T09:41:00.000-08:00

Listening to: Guttermouth - Gorgeous

I have radically changed my musical gears in the past few months. My interest in nu-metal and rap music has gone from stellar proportions to a complete zero. Suddenly, the whole locking-into-a-groove thingy is a thing of a past and that too synchronized with the music industry. Over the past half a year or so, every music magazine and website worth its underground fan base has derided nu-metal from its mantle and replaced it with emo. Punk bands with emo influences like Finch, the used, and even that spitefully bad simple plan have these amazing 'straight from the heart' deliveries. Its a bit too much to handle so many broken hearts at one go. I am wondering if feminists consider eminem still misogynist.

A lot of these trends seem to be simply the corporatization of music and the genrefication thereof. It seems a bit too much to me that the same bands can go years playing the same music. I don't know about others but I would definitely get bored of playing the same 100 times over or so without changing it even by a beat. I hear Bob Dylan used to perform a song differently every time according to his mood. On the opposite side, what about Linkin Park who may have crossed over to pop mainstream but still perform like a rock band. They are not like a rock band in the purist sense considering their habits of recording separately and then mixing into one fine tuned song. I thought bands used to jam together and well, their overproduced music is hard to reproduce live too.

The most interesting thing to notice is modern rock. People like nickelback, etc are popular no matter what trend is catching on or going away.

But this is not about LP. This is about a more general thought taking this country and its scene for example. We don't have the same social conditions (dysfunctional families and alienation in abundance on a middle class level) so it is still as hard to identify with a song from staind, as it was earlier with hair metal shittiness. This is a big reason why there is no punk/hardcore scene in India while metal goes from strength to strength. English music has filtered here in broadly two categories in urban India. One category contains all music popularized by Mtv and [v]. This also contains music passed from a social order quite established in schools and colleges and encompasses all pop and quite a bit of rock. The second category contains hardcore listeners who ferret out all the good stuff (hehe, I am home). This contains all kind of Extreme metal to jazz and whatever lies in between.

Also the general attitude to music can explain a lot of things. The majority of Indian music is passive and reflective intent on distilling life into memorable lyrics. Vocals are important and instruments are just supportive. This vocal predominance I suppose comes from classical music. Orchestra and a lot of instrumentation was introduced very late in the movie scene

Where most of the music still comes from. The Indian pop scene is one endless list of band remixes and bhangra newbies. Every time there is a good yield of crop, some new bhangra stars appear on the scene. Not that I have missed rap music's newfound fascination for Indian sounds. Damn niggas. I just hope it doesn't become a novelty act and goes on to become a whole movement like reggae.

By music directors. Western pop/rock music is a lot more active and punk can be cheesily rhetorical. Case in point, 'fuck the authority' by pennywise. Nowadays, I see a lot of movie music trying to take the active route but somebody should stop before they embarrass themselves completely.

So its pretty strange that I am right now listening to a lot of hardcore and emo. Let me use Dillinger Escape Plan's explanation for this. While listening to nu-metal and their brethren, I could never get the personal vibe. It never seemed heartfelt. It was more like a frat rock party. And well, face it. Limpbizkit is pretty nice to bounce to. But in all these metal sub genres, the energy seems pretty contrived. You can paint your face and do elaborate rituals. You can be a Goth, black or death metal enthusiast but it always seems more to shock and to impress with skills then a song to be remembered. Like DEP says, hardcore has an air of honest energy around it. That is what made me do the transition with nu-metal bordering hardcore bands like nonpoint to a whole lot of underground music. Also their disregard for traditional song structures and excessively long pauses. Along with them, I am now deep into a bed of cheeky, in-your-face punk and 3rd wave ska revivalists. Vandals, guttermouth, mad caddies, voodoo glow skulls, and a lot of others.

A short note on the dance scene. It is right now on a peak I suppose away from the ignorant eyes of the government. In and around goa and Bombay, the trance scene is very hot and almost synonymous with drugs.